It's been a while since I posted. Sorry about that, nonexistent readers. Anyway, something has been on my mind, and I think I need to write about it.
I went to my brother's confirmation mass on Sunday. I was his sponsor, and I was thrilled. He went in super prepared, way more than I was at fifteen. He's also a lot holier and mature than I was at fifteen, but I'll save that for another post.
Anyway, I was so excited, I invited people. My protestant roommate, who occasionally goes to mass with me, decided to join my us. And while I was thrilled about the confirmation, I left embarrassed.
I forgot that, every Pentecost, my church engages in Liturgical dancing. Long white robes, bare feet, and giant oil candles. The women carry them up in rhythm while we all sing "Veni Santi Spiritu" over and over and over again. They place six candles around the baptismal font, and one inside it (and yes, the candles float). If that wasn't enough, the flower pots around the altar were filled with colorful paper cranes (yes, they were supposed to be doves, but they were cranes). Totally irreverent. I felt the need to apologize over and over again to my protestant roommate for how not Catholic that mass was. Luckily, it wasn't her first mass, and my Newman Center is more reverent. She laughed it off. I could not.
That leads to my decision to purchase a mantilla. It had been a while coming. I was thinking over the pros and cons, getting some of the more stubborn, feminist parts of my brain to grasp the concept of wearing a veil. Being subservient to anything is a difficulty for me (Even to Christ. It's something I have to work on). But I may not have done anything about it, had it not been for that mass. I came to the conclusion that I couldn't wait for someone else to treat the mass with the piety it deserved. If I could show even an ounce of respect towards Christ and His Body by wearing a veil, it was worth it. I bought one later that night.
Fortunately, very few masses I attend are like that (though one occasion did involve ribbons. *shudder*). Still, this Sunday will be my first in a mantilla. I'm not sure how it will go, but after trying it on, I'm excited, and a little bit nervous.
If you're also thinking about wearing the veil, I would say that it's got to be a personal decision. If we lived pre-Vatican 2 (and pre-spirit of V2) it wouldn't be an issue. You'd wear them because you'd wear them. But now that it's fallen out of practice, it's a real commitment (I'm not saying them falling out of practice is a good thing. A lot of things fell out of practice, and almost all are bad). You will stand out. You will be judged for it. So pray about it. Ask other women why they veil. Give it a chance. Even if the concept seems atrocious to you at first (as it did to me) don't let it go just yet.
I'll let you know how it goes on Sunday.
